Dear Austin

Dear Austin, Please do not burn down. I have big plans for us.  Dear Austin Bloggers, I love you already and am proud to have been welcomed into your little group. Dear City I Adore, Please have your way with my husband while we are apart. I expect him to be madly in love by the time I get there. Dear New Home, I know we haven’t found each other yet, but please save yourself for me. I know many are homeless as of late and they should get first dibs….but second dibs.. CALLED IT. Dear Austinites, I have some openings. See below:

Personal Navigator:
I will be lost on a regular basis (read: every time I leave the house) and my gps is rude and tends to yell when I don’t follow directions. Plus it thinks it knows more than it actually does. Required: Endless patience and keen sense of where I might be even if I can’t tell you.

Restaurant Concierge:
I am actually moving just so I never have to eat at applebees again. I’m not kidding. At least not about the never eating at applebees again. I need someone to tell me what I am in the mood for, the best place to get it, and what they would order. It would be even better if you would just come with me. My personal navigator will probably be ready for a break, so you should just pick me up. Required: Mind reading abilities and must be a bit snobby about food.

Mildly Competitive Exercise Partner:
I plan to explore Austin with a fork in one hand and so I’m guessing my running shoes should be in the other. I need someone who is only slightly better in shape than me so my competitive nature will kick in but I won’t hate you before we even start. You should be nice, too. That way when I don’t feel like preventing (more….I am thirty and did incubate four humans) jiggle for me, I still care enough about you to show up. Required:Obliviousness to my lack of coordination and incessant complaining about being hot.

Model/Tour Guide:
I have a camera. I’m good with it. It use to make me lots of money. We are coming around to each other again. I’d like to spend sometime with it in some cool places. Unfortunately my kids aren’t on speaking terms with said camera or the mama who gets a bit crazy only when her own children are in front of it and act like they have never had a single picture taken (or maybe the opposite is the problem). And I haven’t discovered all the magical places yet. So I have some openings. Requirement: Creative/beautiful location and a willingness to gush about how the photographs I take of your children make you forget about all the crap they break and your stretch marks. Lots of gushing. And showing your friends.

Pew Partner:
We need a church. And in order for it to feel like my church, I need the buzz of a crowd and the intimacy of friends. So I need someone to sit next to me and help me avoid all that stranger danger that occurs during the {greet-one-another} time. Required: Church without pews (probably) and willingness to talk for hours till we know more of each other’s stories than not.

Local Fearless Partner in Crime:
I will complicate your life. But I’ll also let you in on my kitchen creations, read your favorite books, grocery shop with you at midnight, and love your kids. I’ll pack you a picnic, listen to you complain about your mother in law and make you dinner when life is overwhelming. Required: Ability to be easily excited when I say I have a plan. Must be messy, have baggage, and need to be loved.